Do You Choose Love, Fear, or Peace?

It’s hard to admit this out loud, but for most of my adult life, I lived almost entirely in my head—99% disconnected from my body, my emotions, and my spirit. My body had been screaming for help for years, but I either didn’t hear it or sought treatment for the wrong things.

That all changed in January of 2022. By then, my whole body hurt. I couldn’t even climb eight steps without stopping to rest. When I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, it felt like a death sentence. But strangely enough, that diagnosis was also a gift. For the first time, I had to truly listen to my body—and it had a lot to say. It was not happy. And it was begging me to change my life. 

Relearning How to Move

So, I made those big life changes. Slowly, over time, things began to shift. By November 2024, my body finally whispered, “Okay, I think I’m ready to move again.” Even then, I had to be careful. A half hour of light exercise at 8 a.m. meant I’d be napping by noon.

Years earlier, I had practiced a form of holistic movement called NIA. It combines movement, mindfulness, and self-expression—and I remembered how healing it felt. So I returned to it. I set small goals. I started moving gently. And little by little, my body began to feel better.

NIA isn’t just exercise; it’s a practice with life trainings attached to each level. So, I decided to go back through the belt system, this time with a deeper respect for what my body had been through.

• In White Belt, I revisited The Art of Sensation—using movement to heal and learning to love living in my body.

• In Blue Belt, I discovered The Art of Communication—learning how to be in an active relationship with my body.

• And most recently, in Boise, Idaho, I spent six of ten days immersed in Brown Belt training, which focuses on The Art of Perception—managing the energy of body, mind, emotions, and spirit.

Love, Fear, and Peace

One of the biggest takeaways from my Brown Belt training was Principle 7: Love, Fear, and Peace.

Every decision we make is influenced by one of these three forces. Sometimes we choose love, sometimes fear, sometimes peace—and other times we react to one of them without even realizing it.

This framework made me pause and reflect:

• How many times had I made health choices out of fear?

• How often had I ignored my body because I didn’t feel at peace?

• And how powerful could my life become if I chose more often from love?

Choices Rooted in Love

Love is the fire that ignites action. It’s not just about romance—it’s about passion, purpose, and devotion.

• Love of people: Parents stay up with sick children, friends drive cross-country for weddings, and partners build lives together.

• Love of self: Choosing to eat healthier, setting boundaries, or investing in therapy all stem from the desire to honor your own worth.

• Love of vision: Entrepreneurs start businesses that no one else believes in, artists pour themselves into projects, and activists risk safety for justice.

When we choose from love, we expand. We step into vulnerability because love inherently carries risk: the risk of failure, rejection, or loss. But it’s also the motivator most likely to lead to fulfillment, growth, and connection.

Choices Rooted in Fear

Fear has been hardwired into us since the dawn of humanity. It’s what helped our ancestors survive saber-toothed tigers and rival tribes. Today, the threats are rarely life-or-death, but fear still whispers loudly.

• Fear of rejection: We stay silent in meetings, never pitch our ideas, or avoid asking someone out.

• Fear of failure: We don’t take the class, apply for the job, or launch the business we’ve dreamed of.

• Fear of loss: We cling to unhealthy relationships, hoard money or possessions, or avoid risks that might actually pay off.

Fear isn’t all bad. It protects us from recklessness. But too often, fear dresses itself up as “being realistic.” It convinces us to shrink instead of stretch. It tells us to wait for a “better time” that may never come.

Choices Rooted in Peace

Peace is quieter than love and calmer than fear. It’s not about holding tight or running away—it’s about alignment.

• Peace in relationships: Sometimes the most peaceful choice is walking away, not because you don’t care, but because the constant struggle is costing your soul too much.

• Peace in self-care: Choosing rest over grind, saying “no” without guilt, or simply sitting in silence rather than feeding drama.

• Peace in perspective: Realizing you don’t have to win every argument, chase every opportunity, or prove your worth to anyone.

Peaceful choices feel like an exhale. They don’t scream for validation. They just… settle in your body with a deep knowing that you’re on the right path.

The Interplay Between Love, Fear, and Peace

Here’s where it gets interesting: many choices aren’t purely one or the other.

• You might choose love but wrestle with fear at the same time. (“I’m going to tell them how I feel, even though I might get rejected.”)

• You might leave a relationship out of fear, but find peace on the other side.

• You might pursue a dream from love, but only sustain it once you find inner peace.

Life rarely fits in neat boxes. What matters is not perfection, but awareness.

How to Tell Where Your Choice Comes From

Ask yourself:

1. Does this decision make me feel expansive or contracted?

Expansion = usually love. Contraction = usually fear.

2. Am I choosing to avoid pain or to create joy?

Avoiding = fear. Creating = love or peace.

3. Does this choice feel like struggle or surrender?

Struggle = fear. Surrender = peace.

Why This Matters

When you understand your motivators, you take ownership of your life. Instead of being driven by unconscious instincts, you get to pause and choose with intention.

• If you notice you’re choosing from fear, ask: What would I do if fear weren’t part of the equation?

• If you’re choosing from love, ask: Am I willing to risk vulnerability for the sake of growth?

• If you’re choosing from peace, ask: Am I letting go because it’s right, or because I’m avoiding discomfort?

Awareness doesn’t make the decision easy—but it makes it honest.

Where I Am Now

What began as a painful health crisis has become a journey back into my body, back into movement, and back into listening. Hashimoto’s forced me to pay attention, but NIA gave me a way to transform that awareness into action.

And now, every time I need to make a decision, I ask myself: Am I moving from love, fear, or peace?

Because in the end, that question doesn’t just guide how I move my body—it shapes how I live my life.

✨ Reflection for You: Think about the last three decisions you made. Which came from love? Which from fear? Which from peace? What would shift in your life if you chose more from love or peace, and less from fear?