The Journey of a Hoarder: Learning to Let Go of Too Much Sh*t

Sometimes I write a blog for myself, and this is that time. I have a pile of stuff that needs to go, yet I find myself holding on to it for reasons I can't often explain. I am the daughter of two hoarders. When I walk into my garage, it appears I married a hoarder. I KNOW I have "hoarding tendencies," only because I'm not 100% ready to admit I'm a hoarder. I'm well aware that there is a strong connection between letting emotions go, letting possessions go, and letting those unwanted pounds on your body go. Now is always a great time to let go of the sh*t that weighs you/me down!

We all hold onto things—some for practical use, others for sentimentality. But what happens when

the act of keeping becomes the act of hiding, stacking, or suffocating? For those who struggle with hoarding, it’s rarely about laziness or mess. It’s about memory, fear, comfort, and control.

This blog explores the emotional landscape of hoarding and offers guidance on how to begin the journey of letting go—gently, consciously, and courageously.

When Stuff Starts to Own You

Hoarding isn’t simply clutter or a messy house—it’s a complex psychological challenge. It often stems from trauma, loss, anxiety, or the fear of not having enough. Each object becomes a placeholder for safety, identity, or unresolved emotion.

• You may find yourself saying:
• “I might need this someday.”
• “This was expensive.”
• “It reminds me of someone I lost.”

At first, it may feel like organizing. Then the piles grow. Rooms become storage units. Doors get blocked. Friends stop visiting. And you stop inviting them.

Eventually, the stuff doesn’t feel comforting—it feels heavy. And yet, still, the idea of letting go can be terrifying.

Why Letting Go Feels So Hard

Letting go often isn’t just about parting with an item—it’s about parting with what it represents. That stack of magazines might symbolize a life you wanted to live. The dress might remind you of when you felt beautiful. The unopened mail might reflect a fear of facing reality.

Each item carries a charge, a why that can only be soothed by compassion and understanding.

Fear-based thoughts show up like:

• “If I throw this out, I’ll regret it forever.”
• “This proves I once had better days.”
• “If I lose this, I lose a piece of my history.”

Letting go requires emotional safety, not just a garbage bag. That’s why any real change starts from the inside out.

The Turning Point: When the Soul Says, “Enough.”

A shift often starts quietly. One day, the discomfort of keeping begins to outweigh the fear of releasing. This might be sparked by:

• Embarrassment when someone visits
• A health scare or fall caused by clutter
• A desire to move or travel light
• Grief healing that suddenly calls for space

You may not know where to begin, but you know something has to change.

That moment, when you’re done being trapped by things, is a sacred one. It’s your soul asking for light, for breath, for room to evolve.

Decluttering as Healing: Not Just Cleaning

To someone without hoarding tendencies, the solution seems simple: “Just throw it away.”
But that’s like telling someone with a broken leg to “just run.”

Letting go is grief work. It’s healing work. It’s bravery.

If you treat the process as a sacred ceremony instead of a forced purge, you’re more likely to feel empowered instead of traumatized.

Step 1: Start Small and Specific

Avoid the mistake of tackling the whole house in a weekend. That leads to burnout, overwhelm, and shame. Instead, choose one:

• Drawer
• Closet
• Corner
• Box
• Shelf

Focus only on that. Set a timer for 15–30 minutes.

Questions to guide your decisions:

Would I buy this again today?

Does this reflect the life I want to create?

Am I keeping this out of guilt, fear, or love?

Does it make me feel light or heavy?

You don’t need to be ruthless. Just be real with yourself.

Step 2: Acknowledge the Story, Then Set It Free

Objects often represent frozen stories. Before letting go, allow yourself to honor the item's emotional imprint.

Touch it.
Look at it.
Say something like:

“You helped me through a hard time. Thank you.”

“This was part of my past. I’m choosing a different future.”

“Goodbye, and thank you for your service.”

Photograph it if that helps preserve the memory. Then let it go physically—through donation, recycling, or disposal.

This step reframes decluttering as a release, not a rejection.

Step 3: Replace Stuff with Support

Hoarding often fills emotional voids. So when you remove items, add support:

Connection: Call a friend, talk to a therapist, or journal your feelings.

Movement: Dance, stretch, walk—it releases energy from your body.

Ritual: Light a candle. Play soft music. Say a letting-go mantra.

Celebration: Reward yourself for every milestone, no matter how small.

You’re not just losing things—you’re gaining emotional room to breathe.

Step 4: Don’t Go It Alone

The shame of hoarding often leads to secrecy. But shame grows in silence.

Getting support can make all the difference. You might consider:

• A trusted, nonjudgmental friend or family member
• A professional organizer with hoarding experience
• A therapist specializing in anxiety, trauma, or hoarding
• A support group (online or in-person)

Even if they don’t touch a single item, just having someone there—calm, present, and kind—can help soothe your nervous system while you make decisions.

You deserve help. You’re not weak for asking. You’re wise.

Step 5: Create New Meaning in the Space You Clear

After every box released, you’ll feel a mix of emotions—relief, grief, confusion, and possibility.

Fill the space intentionally with life-affirming practices:

Display a few items that truly make your heart sing

Hang positive affirmations or calming art

Leave open space as a symbol of what’s to come

Journal about what this process is teaching you

The more you anchor your environment to who you are becoming, the easier it is to release who you were.

The Result: Peace, Power, and Room for You

Letting go of stuff doesn’t mean letting go of your identity. Quite the opposite.

It’s peeling away layers to find the real you again—the one who’s creative, curious, joyful, capable, and free.

When your home feels lighter, your mind does too. Decision-making becomes easier. Relationships deepen. You feel safer inviting people in—and even more importantly, you feel safe being with yourself.

You Are Not Your Things

You are not your old clothes, your broken appliances, your boxes of receipts, your childhood trophies.

You are energy in motion. You are worthy of a life with space to expand.

Start small.
Be kind.
Get help.
And keep going.

Need a declutter checklist to help you stay on track?