Why "Don't Let Them Win" Might Be The Worst Advice Ever

I've written before about my battles with my neighbors, and it has reached a fever pitch. My husband and I have endured constant harassment from a handful of narcissistic, mentally ill psychopaths for months now. We have had enough. 

When we went to our circle of friends to tell them our plans, all we heard was "Don't let them win!" "You can't let them win." "If you leave, they win!" The problem is, very few of these people have gone through what we've gone through. Reading hundreds of horrible comments about you and your husband after gifting thousands of hours of your time to make the community a better place to live in just fucking hurts. Being turned into "code enforcement" for bullshit. Not being able to enjoy time at the pool because we are under surveillance. 

It becomes a form of battered wife syndrome. You start thinking, "What did I do that was so wrong?" "Why do they hate me?" "If I only did a little more, then they'd like me." 

The answer is you did nothing wrong. You're being YOU, and doing YOU. THEY will never like you, because their hate for themselves is so much greater. 

Getting daily, bogus complaints from mentally ill neighbors verbally, in writing, and on social media takes its toll. After months of deliberation, my husband and I have decided to make our home elsewhere. Atlas is shrugging. We are Going Galt (see last week's blog). While we hope our friends and neighbors will step up and help defend us from these fuck-tards, most of them don't speak up because THEY don't want to be their next target. I can't fault them. It's an awful way to live. 

The psychopaths who thrive on this kind of chaos never stop. Their internal compass is set on chaos, destruction, and negativity, and it can only feed on the chaos, destruction, and negativity they've created and perpetuated. It's a form of "The Dark Arts of Hypnosis." 

When we've talked to our neighbors about our plans to relocate, they almost all say the same thing: "Don't let them win." "You can't let them win." "If you move, then they win."

We've been battling this shit so long, I feel like the Black Knight in Monty Python's Holy Grail. After having my limbs cut off one by one, I'm still yelling, "It's just a flesh wound!" Only it's not a flesh wound anymore. These people have cut out my heart and stomped on it. It's time to reclaim my heart, my time, and my sanity. 

“Don’t let them win.” 

At first, it feels empowering—like you’re about to step onto a battlefield with your sword sharpened, armor strapped on, and a theme song playing in the background. But here’s the thing:

Life isn’t a battlefield. And if you treat it like one, you’ll spend your energy fighting battles that don’t actually lead to peace, happiness, or freedom. 

Why “Winning” Keeps You Trapped

When the focus is on “winning,” your attention is glued to the other person. Their behavior sets the pace. Their words dictate your emotions. Their actions decide whether you feel like you’re ahead or behind.

That’s not winning—that’s reacting.

And the more you react, the more power you give away.

Think about it:

• Someone says something cruel. You replay it over and over in your head.
• Someone spreads gossip. You craft counter-arguments in your mind all day long.
• Someone tries to push your buttons. You snap, and then regret how much you let them get under your skin.

They’ve hijacked your mental real estate without even paying rent.

Shifting the Game: From Winning to Preserving Peace

Here’s the radical reframe:

The real victory isn’t about proving someone wrong or “winning” an invisible scoreboard.

The real victory is about staying grounded in your peace.

When you prioritize peace over winning:

• You stop arguing with people committed to misunderstanding you.
• You stop needing to “get the last word” (because peace doesn’t require it).
• You stop letting their chaos determine your calm.

It’s like pulling the plug on a power struggle—you reclaim your energy the moment you decide you won’t play.

The Role of Hypnosis in Protecting Your Peace

This is where hypnosis becomes a game-changer.

Most people know consciously that they “shouldn’t let it get to them,” but the subconscious still reacts with old patterns—defensiveness, anger, overthinking.

Hypnosis helps by:

• Releasing old triggers: Dissolving the subconscious “hooks” that people use to pull you into drama.
• Reprogramming your response: Installing calm, confident, and grounded reactions instead of knee-jerk ones.
• Building mental resilience: Creating a subconscious buffer so outside negativity simply doesn’t stick.

Imagine walking into the same situation that used to drain you—and this time, you feel unshakably calm, like drama just bounces off your force field. That’s what hypnosis makes possible.

Everyday Practices for Preserving Your Peace

You don’t need to go into a full trance to shift into this new mindset. Try these practical steps:

1. Pause Before Reacting
2. Take a breath. Remind yourself: “My peace is more valuable than this argument.”
3. Detach From Their Story
4. Remember: whatever they’re saying is about them, not you. Their behavior reflects their world, not your worth.
5. Create an Inner Sanctuary
6. Visualize a safe, peaceful space in your mind where no one else’s negativity can enter. Even 30 seconds in this space can reset your nervous system.
7. Celebrate Your Calm
8. Instead of thinking, “I didn’t fight back, so I lost,” reframe it as, “I chose peace, and that’s the highest win possible.”

A Final Thought

When you live by “Don’t let them win,” you’re still making life about them.

When you live by “Don’t let them steal my peace,” you’re making life about you.

That shift is where the real freedom is.

✨ Don’t fight harder—choose calmer.

✨ Don’t seek victory—seek peace.

✨ Don’t let them win? Fuck that shit.

When you prioritize your happiness over their bullshit...they lose, and you win!

Your Next Step

If you’re tired of letting other people’s drama hijack your happiness, hypnosis can help you reprogram your subconscious for peace. Because the ultimate win isn’t proving someone wrong—it’s living so joyfully, so calmly, and so fully that no one else’s chaos can touch you.